Archive for September, 2006

Line is made for a reason. Security purposes. Distinction. Clarity. Lines are there to remind us – of what is forbidden and dangerous. Pretty much like a warning on the highway. We see it from afar. We have seconds before we make our move. We were given the chance to think. So, if we decided to cross the line, and pay not heed to the warning, we do it on our own risk. We have to face the consequences. Because once we crossed it, there’s no turning back. But why is it, the bigger the line, the greater the temptation there is to cross it?

Nothing’s more frustrating than losing control of what’s going to happen to you. You hate the idea of being weak Unable to avoid all the things coming your way which are going to suck you dry, push to the abyss. Not to be able to do a single thing to stop it. Far worse is that when you realized that the world has stopped spinning and you won’t be able to save yourself still. No matter how hard you tried, you can’t. But the upside of all that is you will realize that there’s a good thing going to happen every time you let yourself fall: you let your loved ones catch you.

However you pretend that everything is fine, it still isn’t. No matter how hard you deny that you’re not tired, that you’re not angry, that you’re not exhausted, in the end you deny that you are in denial.

The idea of working in a bank before strikes me as a glamorous job – dressed in corporate attire, you snub everyone who NOT works in a bank. Now that I’m working for almost two years in a bank, I pity myself. All that perfection just falls to crap. Stupid thought.